Your Voice is Your Medicine - Pt 2

Sexual Abuse and Crimes are a Common Problem

This is a t-shirt I made when I participated in The Clothesline Project. I remember after making the shirt my friend who was aware of what I had been going through went with my to the clothesline project. As we read through the various colored shirts, symbolizing different types of abuse, I remember her crying as she read a shirt written by a little girl about the cruel truths of her abuse.

After talking to close friends and relatives about being a victim of sexual abuse, I came to the dreadful discover that this was a lot more common then I thought it was. The more I opened up and talked to my friends about what had happened to me, the more I realized I was not alone in my pain and plenty of women and men alike within my circle of friends were suffering and still are suffering from being victims of abuse.

The thing is, is that people don't know how to go about talking about it. I don't blame them? What do you say? Do you know how awkward it was retelling my story for what feels like 50 bajillion times to people closest to me and to police, prosecutors, investigators and the therapist in detail of how my best friends dad had molested me? Never did I imagine I would have to have such a conversation in my entire life. Telling my mom and dad was so hard, but they were the ones who I immediately wanted support from, I remember when it happened I kept thinking, the moment I get away from here, I'm calling my parents...I think the worst part was when I told my best friend and watching her collapse on the ground and literally sob for a long time, and holding herself accountable for allowing me to be in the situation with her father in the first place.

Also, it was hard to go to church because everyone knew about it because she had told people. I hated going to church and having people approach me who I did not tell about what had happened and ask me how I was doing.  Her and I also had so many mutual friends in common and still to this very day that I couldn't really tell my friends about it for their support because she didn't want me to. The situation instantly got nasty due to her confided in friends, blaming me, and asking them to take sides. It was rough times. Neither her nor I should have ever had to be in this situation.

Experiencing this time in my life though felt like grieving the death of a close friend, we had been close for a good amount of time but had come to the realization that due to this event and the court case we could no longer be friends. We tried being friends but it was extremely painful and only made matters worse, each time she saw me, I was a reminder of what her father had done.